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Parenting Kids Struggling With ADHD

Have you watched your child struggle to pay attention? They might be the one who can’t sit still or constantly interrupts others. Just know that you are not alone.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in children has become more commonly identified. It is associated with attention-difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. Your child was made in God’s image, and the greatest gift we can give is acceptance of who they are.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)

Here are a few tips for supporting your child who has ADHD:

1) Movement
Build movement into homework time or when they need to sit for long periods. Playing outside, having a snack, or walking the dog can help improve focus.

2) Learning Styles
We all have different learning styles. Most are auditory, visual, or hands on learners. If you’re teaching a life lesson, write it down and go over it visually with your child. If it’s something hands on, do it with them to show them how it’s done.

3) Communication
Ask questions to encourage communication, and listen to their answers. ADHD doesn’t mean they can’t focus. They focus on highly preferred things. Encourage family conversation to become a highly preferred thing.

Some things NOT to say to your child who has ADHD:

1) “Everyone has a little bit of ADHD…it’s not a big deal”
For many kids it IS a big deal. Don’t downplay their struggles. Show empathy and compassion. Don’t point out their difficulties in front of others. Ask them what you can do to support them when they’re having a hard time.

2) “If you just tried a little harder you could do better”
This isn’t true. Placing pressure on your child can lead to further frustration for them. Be willing to celebrate with them where they’re at and not where you think they should be.

3) “You need better behavior”
Children with ADHD may have impulsive behavior. Remind them what behavior you want. Instead of saying, “Stop talking so much”, say, “I appreciate how everyone is listening while others are talking.”

Although your child with ADHD can try your patience, ADHD can also have positive attributes. High-energy, creativity, and imagination describe many with ADHD. Because they need to work harder to concentrate, they develop resiliency and perseverance.

As they mature, they can learn to think fast on their feet and become problem solvers. Like a camera with a high-power lens, a person with ADHD can focus up close, then zoom out to see the big picture. They are big thinkers. Visionaries. World changers.

Commit yourself to cultivating focus and self-control in your child. With loving guidance and direction, your child can realize their giftedness. Laughter really is the best medicine, so try not to take life too seriously and have some fun. When all else fails, turn on the music and dance.

Pray for your child with ADHD:

“Lord, thank you for my child. You chose them and knew all about their ADHD. You know their thoughts before they think them and You see all they do. You are with them in their struggles and when they focus. Thank you for the wonderful creation they are, and that you chose me to be their parent. In Jesus name, Amen.”

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Author

  • Amy Kendall | NextGen Mental Health Pastor | Saddleback Church

    Amy Kendall is the Next Gen Disabilities and Mental Health Pastor at Saddleback Church and has been on staff there since 2007. Before working at Saddleback, she worked for 10 years in the educational sector as a behavior specialist, specializing with children on the autism spectrum. Amy graduated from Pacific Christian College with her BA in Ministry and from Hope International University with her MA in Marriage, Family, Child Counseling. Amy was recently on the board of the Disability Ministry Conference as their vice president and speaks often in regards to disability ministry. Amy also has a teenage son with multiple disabilities and mental health struggles and believes that she is a better pastor because she gets the blessing to be his mom.

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