Do you find yourself ever wrestling with God in your life circumstances? I’ve been in a season where I have been wrestling with the Lord over some areas in my life where He has me.
And when I say wrestling in this circumstance, I mean mentally throwing a tantrum like a toddler…the emotional feeling of laying on the floor flailing my limbs kicking and screaming, “I don’t want to do this, Waaaaahhh. Lord, whyyy?”. Yes, I am a grown up and still have these mental and emotional moments.
This has been surrounding some activities that I maybe would not choose to do, and ways I wouldn’t choose to spend my time. But the reality is whether or not I like it, this is where I am. This is the one time that I am going to be right here right now.
I’ve heard God say “Don’t miss what I have for you!”. And let me tell you, I DO NOT want to miss what God has for me. I am reminded of all of the ways He has spoken to me and led me in the past and what an amazing thing it is to be right where He calls me.
When I was a new follower of Jesus in High School at Saddleback Church, my pastor, Doug Fields would often say in his messages that you have the choice to go God’s way or the world’s way. He would reach out one arm and point in one direction and the other and point in the opposite direction, giving us the visual that these are two entirely different paths.
This was always a powerful teaching point for me. I was desperately wanting to walk God’s way. I had surrendered my life and I was serious about fulfilling the call and purpose that God had for me. A lot of times God’s way was very clear, don’t lie, cheat, kill, steal..etc. Ok, no problem, got it. But other times when it wasn’t necessarily that black and white, it was difficult to know exactly what God’s way was for me in that moment and situation.
I committed my life to Christ when I was 15 years old, and I had been a cheerleader for 6 years. At the time, I had been on my high school’s competitive cheer team. We would spend hours and hours each week pouring out blood, sweat and tears (literally!).
We would practice stunts where we threw people in the air and caught them, gymnastics, routines where it was critical that we were perfectly in sync. We were a pretty good team, we would often be winning top awards. I was extremely serious about working hard, I wanted us to be the best and I loved being a part of this.
But after I committed my life to Christ I realized that by doing cheer it meant my schedule didn’t allow me to participate with a lot of my church activities that I now felt so passionate about being a part of. I was very torn. As I prayed and listened to God I felt like He was telling me “this is the one time you will be able to ‘minister’ to High Schoolers AS a High Schooler”.
I felt God calling me to serve in ministry as a High Schooler. I am SO grateful that I chose to listen, because the ways that God worked in and through my life as a teenager in High School were incredible. The ways I experienced God changed my life forever. This season launched me into an adulthood where I was desperate to continue to chase after Him and His will for my life.
Through the years I have experienced that same sort of call for the right here and right now. Completely unexpected ways that weren’t pre-planned or what I would necessarily have chosen. It was a divine call to step in obedience and faith and be a willing vessel to be used by Him.
Most times these aren’t easy decisions. Most times I’m not choosing a clear “better” option. As a matter of fact, it might entail missing something that I thought was where I was supposed to be. Or not doing something that I really wanted to do. It usually isn’t something that seems heroic or super special.
I’m likely not receiving awards, a special title or accolade. I have found that the day to day call of God is often mundane, boring, frustrating and NOT what I would have imagined. But when I am seeking God and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead, it is ALWAYS worth it!
And although I might get a little off course, and need to take a moment to collect myself and get re-focussed, I still choose God. I will still choose His way again and again. He is our Creator, our Heavenly Father who knows everything. He is the beginning and the end, the Alpha and Omega. (Revelation 22:13) I will trust God all of the days of my life.
My prayer for all of us today is that we would be encouraged and would keep on keeping on, even when it is frustrating, confusing, boring, or unfulfilling. If you are resonating with any of the above, please know you are not alone, and you are not the only one who has ever felt this way. May God bless you, and give you a little glimpse of the ways He is working in and through you.
Let’s press on and finish the good race! Matthew 25:23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
