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The Game-Changing Tip You Need To Know

We know that parenting is an emotional rollercoaster filled with stressful times and enjoyable moments. Every day is a new journey, from the joy of hearing your children laugh to the agony of attempting to decipher their tantrums. One of the most important skills I’ve learned on this parenting trip is the value of active listening—a game-changer when I interacted with my kids.

So many times I blew it! It would be a normal evening at home, and my daughter would come into the room while I was working or focused on something else. She would be full of excitement to tell me about her day at school. I would half-listen while doing whatever it was I was doing before. Such a disrespectful, dishonoring, and loving action for me to take!

I regret those times. I wish I’d always made a concentrated effort to genuinely listen. I wish I’d always stopped what I was doing, looked into her eyes, assessed her body language, and offered open-ended questions to prompt her to disclose more and feel more loved!

Active listening is more than simply hearing words. It’s about comprehending emotions, deciphering unspoken signals, and validating sentiments. This is the best thing to do. So, when my son comes to me with an issue, I listen first before offering solutions. I recognize his feelings, empathize with his problems, and assure him that his opinions are important. This small deed will deepen your relationship and give your chats greater significance.

The advantages of attentive listening in parenting are significant…

1) It Improves Communication
Your children will feel free to express themselves because they know you’re not just hearing words. You’re listening with your heart. This will open channels of honest discussion, allowing them to share everything from school struggles to life goals without fear of being judged.

2) It Promotes Empathy
Understanding your child’s viewpoint allows you to see the world through their eyes. This empathy can allow you to handle disagreements with compassion and discover solutions that address their needs. It’s a strong instrument for building mutual respect and understanding in your connection with them.

3) It Boosts Trust
When your children realize they can confide in you without being dismissed or interrupted, trust grows. They’ll feel respected and loved. Your bond will grow stronger, offering a secure environment for them to be their true selves.

Active listening is not simply a parenting technique. It needs to be a way of life. It is important to be present, attentive, and empathic while interacting with our children. So, let’s embrace this game-changing suggestion, appreciate true connection moments, and cultivate loving relationships with our kids.

Remember, God created us with 2 ears and 1 mouth. This verse from the book of James emphasizes the importance of active listening, the wisdom of being patient, and the discernment of being slow to react, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 (NLT)

Take a deeper dive by watching our podcast episode, “A Game-Changing Tip | Part 5 of 5”


  • Chris Reed | Pastor to Parents | Saddleback Church

    Chris married his beautiful bride, Tina, in 1990. They have three wonderful adult children, Jacob, Kaylee, and Macie Joy. Chris began pastoring at a church in Los Angeles in 1995 where he was the Children’s and Student Pastor. He was the Executive Pastor of Student Ministries at John Maxwell's church in South Florida before he came to Saddleback in 2008 as our Pastor to 20s/30s. He has since served as Pastor to Singles and Pastor to Marriages. He is currently our Pastor to Parents leading the charge for all things Parents Ministry at Saddleback. He earned his Bachelor of Arts Degree in Biblical Studies and his Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership.

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