It’s ok to show emotions
Everyone gets sad, it’s just a part of life in this broken world. So often, we find ourselves trying to protect our children from the pain of the world around us. Sometimes we go to another room to cry or take a walk leaving our kids to wonder what is happening. Kids can sense our emotions more than we realize and we need to honor and respect those. We want to help create emotional safety so they are able to express their feelings and not learn that they should hide from it.
Maybe I am seeing this as very relevant these days because my daughter is getting older, but I feel that allowing emotions at an earlier age is healthy and beneficial. This will help teach them how to channel these feelings and be able to talk about them without feeling like it should be hidden.
I made this observation late last year when we lost a friend of the family. I was trying to be stoic and let my daughter know what happened, but the emotions came flowing out and I was a teary mess with a kid looking at me with sincere concern. It was at this point that it hit me; kids need to see their parents cry and be in their sadness, so they have a role model of how to process the hurts. After I collected myself, and I got a giant hug, I found myself wanting to apologize for crying but it was a genuine moment of grief. She saw that I was able to release the tears, take a deep breathe, talk it out and pray for all those that were hurting over the loss of our friend.
When you see your child in sadness, know that they have these emotions that they aren’t sure how to process. Let yourself be in that moment with them and help them talk through their hurts. This not only builds trust but also a healthy way to work through their emotions.
Next time you find yourself in need of working through your own emotions, let your kids know that you are feeling down but you will be ok. Everyone has tears of sadness from time to time, even Jesus wept. Knowing that we should be taking our cues from the Bible, if He can weep, then we should be able to, as well.
Author
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Jennifer married her Prince Charming, Brandon in 2004. They currently have one amazing daughter, Madi, who was born in 2011 and they were blessed to adopt her from birth. God has also called them to adopt a lovely 15-year-old from Colombia and they are hoping to bring her home in the summer of 2023. Loki is their 4-year-old lab/shepherd/snuggle bug mix who keeps them very entertained and well hugged. She graduated with a BA in Public Relations with an emphasis in Non-Profit Management from Chapman University. Jennifer is currently in her last semester at Gateway Seminary and will be graduating in May 2023 with a Masters in Theological Essentials. She is on the Lake Forest Mission Team focusing on refugee care and other local outreach efforts. Her heart is for those that are hurting and feel that they are in the margins. She wants them to know that they are seen and loved by their Creator. In her spare time, when not studying, she enjoys spending time with family and friends, reading and writing. A little-known fact about Jennifer, is that she was on an Improv Comedy Troupe and misses being on stage, but hopes to combine her love of the stage and Jesus in some creative way.