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10 Ways To Help Your Child Choose ‘Better’ Over ‘Perfection’

We heard a powerful and practical message from Pastor Andy this weekend that challenged us to “Choose Better over Perfection.” So, this got me thinking, “How can we as parents, help our kids choose ‘Better’? Here’s what I came up with…

  1. Encourage effort and hard work rather than perfection
    Rather than focusing on the outcome, emphasize the importance of putting in effort and working hard towards a goal.
  2. Celebrate small victories and progress
    Recognize and celebrate small victories and progress, as these are crucial steps towards overall improvement.
  3. Help your child set realistic goals
    Set goals that are achievable and encourage your child to work towards them gradually, rather than expecting perfection from the outset.
  4. Encourage a growth mindset
    Help your child understand that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and practice, rather than being fixed traits.
  5. Emphasize the value of learning from mistakes
    Rather than punishing mistakes, teach your child to view them as opportunities for learning and growth.
  6. Encourage a healthy attitude towards failure
    Help your child understand that failure is a normal and inevitable part of life, and that it’s through overcoming failure that we grow and improve.
  7. Help your child develop resilience
    Encourage your child to persevere and stay motivated, even in the face of challenges or setbacks.
  8. Foster a love of learning
    Encourage your child to be curious and to enjoy the process of learning and growing.
  9. Encourage self-kindness and self-compassion
    Help your child understand that it’s okay to not be perfect, and to be kind and compassionate towards themselves when they make mistakes.
  10. Model a healthy perspective on progress and perfection
    As a parent, model a healthy perspective on progress and perfection by showing your child that it’s okay to make mistakes and to strive for improvement rather than perfection.

Are these helpful?
Which one of these ways have you already implemented?
Which one are you excited about starting?

Now, don’t strive for perfection thinking you have to take all these actions now…just pick one or two. This is simply a list of ideas I hope will help you win at parenting.


  • Chris Reed

    Chris married his beautiful bride, Tina, in 1990. They have three wonderful adult children, Jacob, Kaylee, and Macie Joy. Chris began pastoring at a church in Los Angeles in 1995 where he was the Children’s and Student Pastor. He was the Executive Pastor of Student Ministries at John Maxwell's church in South Florida before he came to Saddleback in 2008 as our Pastor to 20s/30s. He has since served as Singles Pastor, Small Groups Pastor, Marriages Pastor, and Parents Pastor. He is currently our Extensions Pastor, leading the charge for Saddleback Church start-ups across the US and world. He earned his Bachelor of Arts Degree in Biblical Studies and his Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership.

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